Numb

*Emma: … I guess I wanted to hear your voice. I know we broke up, but…

Adam: Emma, we didn't break up. We never started.*

1:42 a.m.

 A cup of warm, delicious black tea.

A pair of tired but sleepless eyes.

And thoughts. Loads and loads of skittish thoughts.  

Oh, and of course, memories.

Isn't it strange, that when your heart breaks, it’s not the pain, it’s not the tears; it’s the numbness. The shock that you could actually love someone so much that their absence made you feel hollow from the very tip of your nerves. ‘Cause if it doesn't feel like you’re going to break down any moment, then you probably never loved him enough. ‘Cause if it doesn't feel like your world is coming crashing down, then your life never really revolved around him.

Yeah, that’s how it feels. That’s exactly how lost and broken and inexplicably incomplete you feel.

Next comes the question, and the brooding: was he ever really made for you? When you were ready to leave every part of your precious world behind just to build a new world with him, was he even ready to cross a tiny hurdle for you? And if the answer is no, then he probably was never meant to be.

But then again, if he not being there makes you question your existence, even if he drives you crazy every single night, even if he challenges you, and even if he’s absolutely psychologically challenged, don’t give up on him. Don’t give up on the ‘us’ that can happen. ‘Cause if every dream of yours enfolds and ends with him, then he’s worth all the tears and those soggy pillows.

Love is never easy. It never was, it never will be. But you know what is easy? Loving someone. Loving them with every bit of love left in you, and loving each other; so much so that the universe will be forced to give up and make way for you. You didn't think and calculate and contemplate before falling in love, then why so after you've already fallen hard? Let time take its toll, let God pull the strings, let destiny guide you through. And amidst all this, just hold him close, and never let go. ‘Cause your love will be tested, every minute, every second. And you just have to get through.

‘Cause you know what awaits you at the end of the tunnel? Life. Your life with the one you love. A life of dreams come true. So, coming to think of it, a few scars and a handful of sleepless nights seems like a small price, doesn't it? J

*Wait, you should know that if you come any closer,
I'm not letting you go..*