Two Decades New

The age of innocence, imbecility and impulsiveness- that’s Teenage for you. Silly crushes, heartbreaks, frivolity, tantrums and terribly disastrous decisions define this age. And yet, these years are the ones that every person remembers all throughout their lives, cause having gone through the process of love and pain, and loss and gain, there’s so much that life teaches us in these buoyant years. As for me, tomorrow officially marks the end of my ‘teen’agehood.

Yes, I’m going to turn twenty tomorrow. Now for many people this might be a happy occasion because it means being able to do whatever they want to without having to depend on anyone; the freedom of finally being accepted in the society as an ‘adult’. But I don’t know why, I’m feeling kind of weird. It’s like a whirlwind of emotions playing inside me right now. I know it’s great to enter a new phase and explore novel stuff, but I’m a bit unsure whether I’m ready to face it all; all the responsibilities that were so far away from me till now, and suddenly they’re standing right outside my doorstep. I don’t know if I’m prepared enough to let go of the child inside me, the one who still reads fairy tales, watches Winnie the Pooh, (wait, are you ever too old to watch Winnie the Pooh?), and still believes in imagination and miracles. I’m dubious of letting go my identity and reforming myself in order to welcome the maturity to set in. Or is it just me who’s being paranoid? Maybe I can still be myself and turn twenty without the burden of sacrificing the childlike-ness. Maybe it’s not a predicament at all; maybe it’s just a phase that will pass just as quickly the night melts into day.

Now having said all this, I also have a confession to make- I've enjoyed my teenage years to the fullest! I've consumed every ounce of craziness inside me to the maximum, and the reservoir of insanity is still full to be used up in the years to come. I've had (and still have) great friends who've gone through the hills of ups and downs along with me, parents who've tolerated my mood swings, and I've had experiences that have taught me so much. I've had my share of love, heartbreak, laughter, tears and regrets, and they've all helped make me strong. In short, it has been a roller coaster ride, and an amazing one. So, all I can do is hope that all these past years give me the confidence to face the future. 

Oh, but before I depart, I have a few advices to give to my tomorrow’s twenty-year old self, from my now nineteen-year old self:

1.      Guys who look good and make you laugh are not necessarily the ones who will always look good and will never make you cry. So, choose wisely. Remember that Cinderella didn't find her Prince Charming in one day.

2.      Listen to your parents. They’re always right. Really.

3.      Make-up cannot always make you look good. But a smile can. So, stay happy.

4.      Do what you want. Listen to your heart. It’s never really wrong.

5.      Point no. 4 doesn't mean that you can leave your brain down the drain. Seriously, stop being dumb and use your head.

6.      Don’t let any stranger or sheets of paper decide your future. It’s your life, and what you make of it is totally your decision.

7.      Friends who were there for you ten years back and still stand right beside you are the ones who will always be there for you. So, never let go of them.

8.      Have faith. Prayers do work, and miracles do happen.

9.      Watch Disney movies, or read Harry Potter whenever you’re upset. It worked these past nineteen years, so they’re bound to work all throughout your life.

10.  Lastly, never efface your identity for anybody else. You are who you are, and you’re wonderful at that. So, never change.

Phew. That’s the list, I guess.

So, as I step into this new phase of my life, I hope that things don’t change much, and even if they do, let it be for good. J

Lots and lots of love,

Sayantani Sarkar a.k.a Creative Insanity.