A Little Something Left Behind

Sitting by the window, sipping her ever-favourite black tea, Shaina breathed in the serene view outside. The raindrops always had a euphoric effect on her; they made her go on a memory ride, always. As Tum Se Hi breezed out from the radio, her heartbeat stopped for a second, every cell in her body curling up to its lyrics. The song had an immortal relationship with her life ever since its birth. Keeping her tea cup aside, she walked towards her cupboard, and apprehensively took out the little red diary that had been her secret sharer since time immemorial.

Smiling like a hopeless teenager lost in love, she turned to the diary entry of 6th June, 2008; the day she thought she’d found the guy she wanted to spend her whole life with; what she didn’t know was that anything vile was always out there, waiting to cast its evil eye on anything good.

She didn’t even need to read what she’d written, cause every second of that day was as clearly embedded in her head as crystal: How he’d pulled her away from the crowd to dance with her alone in the rain, how chills ran down her spine everytime he looked at her, making her feel like the only girl in the world. Taking his hand in hers and promising her a life of undying love, he’d pulled her close, with their lips locked in delirious oblivion, as their wet, entangled bodies became one in the hysteria of first love.

There are certain memories which are so vividly ingrained in our hearts, that everytime you think about them, you can almost feel it all being replayed before your eyes.  For Shaina, he wasn’t just a memory. He was an undetachable part of her soul, a part that made her feel hollow and complete, by turns. True that he’d made her world come crashing down the day he walked out of her life. So what if he’d given her sleepless nights and sloppy pillows? He’d also left behind a vast ocean of bittersweet memories, something she would treasure till her last breath. The way they fought over every trivial thing: whether Da Vinci Code was better than Angels and Demons, whether Imran Khan was cute or gay, why girls were so cryptic and why guys were so obsessed with their hair. There were things they agreed on as well, like, how Jab We Met should officially be declared a classic, that black is the hottest colour ever, and that Michael Jackson is a living legend. But the thing that she would miss the most was how he'd been her best friend and lover, both at the same time.

How could she erase him out of her life when he’d given her so much to remember? How could she forget the person who taught her what it felt like to live for someone, and be loved in return? It wasn’t possible. Not for her. Not in this lifetime atleast. She knew that she would somehow learn to survive with a broken heart, that was one truth. But another truth was that no matter what happened, in one corner of her heart, a residue of his love would always exist, and she couldn’t burn that away. She didn’t want to; as it would continue to remind her of how strong she’d been, when she could easily break down.

Drawing out from her train of thoughts, she wiped away the baby tears that rolled down her cheeks, and smiled weakly. Taking away her stone-cold cuppa, she kept humming the lyrics of Tum Se Hi all day long.

“Main kahiin bhi jaata hoon, tum se hi mil jaata hoon, tumse hi..
Shor mein khamoshi hain, thodi si behoshi hain, tum se hi..”

- Sayantani Sarkar.

(P.S- This piece is completely a figment of my imagination, and the first short story that I've posted. So, posting or sharing it elsewhere without my permission will not be acceptable.)