Metamorphosis

Life changes, and we change with it.

My life is going to change pretty soon; whether I’m going to change with it or not, is another question for another day.

But there’s something I know that will not change: the relationships I have, of love, of friendship; they’re all going to stay just where they are. That’s what I hope and that’s what I pray.

Three years back I came to the city of Calcutta to do my graduation. Having spent all my life in the heavenly country of Saudi Arabia, arriving to India leaving my friends, my home, my dad, was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I’d never felt so lost, so helpless, so empty. Thank God my mum was with me, but I still felt directionless. College had begun and yes, I’d found friends, but that was mainly cause I’m not somebody who can sit quietly at a corner for long. People in Calcutta were… different. Different from what I was used to seeing. If you ask me, they were downright weird.

But then, almost miraculously, I met an angel. Well, not literally, but yes, I met someone with whom I finally felt at ease. This person was my professor, Sritama Maitra- a dainty, petite, extremely pretty woman with Rapunzel-like hair; but most importantly, a person with a heart of gold. I’d kind of fallen in love with her on the very first day of college. And you cannot really blame me, because a disarming smile and an intelligent mind is one hell of an attractive combination. It was only a matter of time after which we went from being teacher-student to sisters and then to best friends. I told her every shitty, little thing that happened with me, and she just listened, without ever questioning, without ever judging. Harry Potter, College Street, Chelo Kababs, Pandal Hopping- we did every possible crazy thing together! And just like that, three years passed by. Gosh she even got married in all this time! :D

So Di, I want to tell you something today, something that I’ve been wanting to tell for quite a long time- thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being there when no one else was. Thank you for being the most caring, loving, warm and understanding sister. Thank you for being the shoulder to cry on, and for making me laugh. And the one thing, for which I can never thank you enough, is for accepting me and loving me the way I am. :’) And also for giving me such a wonderful extended family. <3 I love you Di, for now and forever. :*

But Di is not the only one I want to thank here.

You see, graduation life can seem really long and arduous if you don’t have the right people to share it with. And man, did I have the right company or what.

On the first day of college, I met two girls. Two seemingly quiet and reticent girls. Little did I know that they almost parallel me in the insanity meter. They were Ankita Banerjee and Sarmisree Dasgupta. Initially we were all a bit hesitant about sharing everything, but as days went by, our friendship moved forward, and since then there has been no looking back. J

Soon enough we were named The Three Musketeers of our college.

Bearing A.G’s torturous lectures together, spending hours and hours at South City, getting on the wrong bus and then laughing about it in the middle of the road, eating yummy momos at cheap places, trying not to miss any pandal during Durga Puja, singing, dancing, fighting, Phuchkas, college ke bahar ka chaat stall- YES, the past three years were a roller coaster ride! :D

Of course thanks to Di’s tuitions, we had another member join our gang; who else but my very own sugarplum- Moumita Bhattacharjee. J Though we became friends kind of late, but I’m glad I met you, Mou, ‘cause you’re a gem of a person. <3

And wait, did I miss something? Oh yes, THE tuitions!

Now, tuitions are mostly described as a pain-in-the-ass, but when you have such a gorgeous teacher teaching you such an amazing subject, you can’t help but have the time of your life! :D I still remember the craaaazy fun we had studying Macbeth and every other beautiful story. And can we EVER forget the joke we made out of Browning’s My Last Duchess? NEVER! :D  Thank you again Di, for bringing us all together, and for making English Literature such a fun subject! J

Sarmi, Anki, Mou... I’ve never said this, but you people made me miss home a little less. Thank you so much for being the awesome friends that you people are. Thank you

for that awesome surprise on my 18^th birthday. Thank you for bearing my pagalpan, and a biiig thank you, for making my college life a joy ride. J Sarmi, extra thanks to you for giving me such an awesome jeeju. xD  Anki, thanks for being my music sharing buddy. And Mou, thanks for being just what you are. Stay the same, okay? :* I love you all. <3

So yeah, that was the summary of the past three years of my life. Well, almost.

Now I’m ready to enter a whole new phase and prepared to face and cherish every minute of it. Here’s keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

Good bye till then,

Lots of love,

Creative Insanity.

Like a Blessing

You crawled into my life silently,

Like raindrops on lovers’ lips.

You gave me dreams,

Like shooting stars in a night sky.

You touched me with an inexplicable charm,

Like the flowers blooming in spring.

You filled me up with a divine glow,

Like a river that had run coarse and dry.

You brought back joy,

Like music flowing through a valley.

You gave me hope,

Like a presence unseen, like the wind around.

You pulled me back from the gates of Hell,

Like a magic touch running through the nerves.

You gave my existence a meaning,

Like Life re-given, like breath fresh and bound.

       -      Sayantani Sarkar. 

The Kiss of Joy

“Waha uss pahaad ki hawa mein ek nasha sa tha, aur wo nasha ishq tha.

Maine apni zindagi mein pehle itni khushi mehsoos hi nahi ki thi, pyaar ho gaya tha mujhe, aur main sabko uss pahaad ki choti se chilla-chilla ke ye baat  batana chahti thi. Lekin sabse zyada, main use batana chahti thi.

Pata nahi waha Bhairav ka mandir tha ki nahi, lekin phir bhi ek dua maangna chahti thi. Bahut simple. In fact, sirf ek shabd- Bunny.”

YJHD! <3

Some people just come into your life, without a signal, without a warning, just like that. Like a breath of fresh air. And you suddenly feel alive all over again. Alive, happy and content.

If you’re humming to yourself all day, smiling for no apparent reason or feeling happy just like that, then know that you've been blessed, and say a small thank you to God. And most importantly, don’t let it go- the love, the happiness, the feeling. Hold on to it, ‘cause this life has just begun. 

Today was awesome for a plethora of reasons; my best friend’s elder sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl J, India won the Champions Trophy :D aaand a very special person absolutely made my day (in various ways J). So yes, today was very memorable, and I've said my little prayer. Have you?

                            “Meri khamoshi se baatein chun lena,

                              Unki dori se tareefein bun lena..” <3

Stay happy and keep smiling,

Creative Insanity.

Hey There, Old Friend!

Decorating/arranging/re-arranging your bookshelf, or maybe just looking at it admiringly, according to me, is probably the best pastime ever!

It’s wonderful, isn't it? How much books have to offer you, without ever asking for anything in return?

I was just arranging my bookshelf (which I like to call My Little Paradise) a while ago, and like always, I couldn't help awing at all my babies. Placed in rows of genres, colors, stories and dreams, they looked like they were calling out to me. Books that have been read said, “You can always stop by my pages again, you know”, books that are yet to be read uttered, “I’m waiting for my magic to be discovered”, and then of course there were those books- Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Rapunzel, Aladdin… they pouted and whispered, “Hey buddy, long time no see”.

People have their own ways to escape from the mundane routine of life, and for me, books have always been the escape route. They have listened to me, understood me, pacified me, made me laugh, made me cry, all this without ever uttering a word of exasperation. Quite the true best friend, aren't they? J

“If I ever met you,

Down the road or someplace new,

My lips would curl into a smile

And I would just say ‘thank you’ “ J

So, that’s it for tonight. I've gotta go and drool over The Winchesters now, and then get lost in the world of And the Mountains Echoed. Goodnight, y’all.

Lots of love,

Creative Insanity. 

A Day Worth It

Some memories are so special, that they make you smile even when you remember them way after they were created.

Some days are so special, that you just know you’re gonna store it in your memory forever.

And some movies are so special, that while watching them, you feel like someone is depicting your whole life story on screen.

Today, 6^th June 2013, was one such day.

Three best friends, one awesome day and one great movie.

The trailers of Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani had made it pretty clear that the story is going to be simple; but I had a strong faith in it. Why? Because it marked the comeback of the awesome Ranbir Kapoor-Ayan Mukherjee duo; the duo that had won mine and millions of hearts with Wake Up Sid.

This was the first time in six years that I wasn’t watching the first day show of an RK movie, and trust me, it was pure torture! But then again, I had promised my two besties that I would watch it with them, and what are good memories if not made together, right? So I endured this torture for six whole days and finally smiled when the morning of 6^th June arrived. I couldn’t stop grinning. It was almost like Ranbir Kapoor himself was coming to watch his own movie with me. *wish wish* 

The story of YJHD, like I said, is simple. It’s about a vivacious, life-loving guy named Kabir Thapar (Ranbir Kapoor, called Bunny by his friends) and a geeky, mellow girl named Naina Talwar (Deepika Padukone) and Bunny’s friends, Aditi (Kalki Koechlin) and Avi (Aditya Roy Kapoor). Ranbir Kapoor proved it once again why he’s considered the next big thing of Bollywood. I mean, c’mon! He’s abso-frikkin-lutely charming and breathtakingly awesome! <3 Deepika Padukone officially impressed me this time by actually acting well. And Ayan Mukherjee, with the genius mind of his, once again managed to tell a plain story in a beautiful way. :’) Pritam’s music lingers all around you and the dialogues remind you of the conversations you have with your friends. (Brownie points to the movie for mentioning Harry Potter xD)

 Bunny and Naina’s story is way too special to be revealed, so I won’t say anything about it because I want everyone to go watch it themselves in order to feel it’s magic. The journey of love, of friendship, of joy, of tears, will just touch your heart, making you feel that ache in your chest.  You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll leave with a smile. So, don’t waste time and go watch it NOW!

In all, today was a day spent with best friends, watching a story of best friends.

Totally worth the wait! J

Till next time,

Have fun and live life to the fullest an keep listening to Kabira (<3),

Creative Insanity.

Just You and Me

(excerpt from the non-compiled mass of material in my head)

Pia took a deep breath, and thought, “It’s now or never”. She knew; she just knew that she had to tell him today; to let it all out.
She went to the other room where Imran was sitting on the sofa, munching on his McDonalds meal. She paused right in front of him, interrupting his view of the very intense cricket match, and switched off the television. “Oye! Kya kar rahi hai?!…” he was just beginning to protest.

“We need to talk, Imran”, she said.

“Okay, but can’t it wait till the match gets over? I mean, it was- ”

“No! I need to talk to you now!” she cut him, furious and restless.

“Okay, okay. Relax. What is it?” he stood up, the burger still in his hand.

Mustering all the courage Pia had inside her, she almost blurted out, “I love you!”
Imran’s very dear meal fell off his hand, his face suddenly drained of all its colour, and he looked at Pia like he’d just witnessed a massacre.

“Yes, Imran, I love you.” She went on. “I’ve loved you since our very first day at kindergarten when you stole my lunch. I’ve loved you since the day you helped me swing. I’ve loved you since you stood up for me when others made fun of my geeky glasses…” She paused, laughing at the memory.

“From childhood to teenage and till this very minute, my love for you has only grown. I’ve known it since forever, but I could never admit it to myself because I knew it would be worthless.” Tears started clouding her vision. “My family will never allow an inter-caste marriage and your parents will never ever accept a Hindu girl into your family. But in spite of knowing it all, I still can’t stop loving you. It’s just getting too much; it’s consuming me! I don’t even know if you feel the same way about me; I don’t know if our friendship will even last or not after this, I know this will change everything; but I suppose it’s worth it.” She looked at him trying to comprehend his thoughts, but he seemed too baffled. “I’ve rehearsed this confession inside my head a million times and now I know I’m just blabbering crap but the point is… I love you. And if miraculously, even if by a teeny-meeny percentage, you feel the same way about me, then I promise we can face this together. I’ll be with you, you’ll be with me, and it will all be okay. I-” Before she could utter anything else, Imran pulled her close, and kissed her. For a second, they were both quite, and then with a smile, Imran took her face in his hands, and kissed her in a way that felt urgent; like their feelings had been buried for way too long. Pia felt giddy with happiness and couldn’t help but smile in between that very much waited moment.
When they finally drew apart, Pia breathed after what felt like a very long time. It was Imran who broke the silence, “I thought I would propose you”, flashing that smile Pia was crazy about, “Yeah sure, in our graves.” He hugged her tight, and Pia lost her tiny self in his embrace, the banter back and dazzling. “We’ll find a way, we always do.” He said, and she just lightly nodded her head.

“Okay, now can I please go back to the match?” She hit him on the elbow lightly.

“Pyaar se bolo pehle”
 
“Arrey aur kitne pyaar se bolu?!”
 
“Aise bolo ‘Baby, please give me the remote.’ “

Imran folded his arms, faking exasperation, and imitating her, he said, “Baby, pleeease give me the remote.”

“Haha! That’s my buoy!” Grinning like a kid, she switched on the TV and they sat on the sofa, watching the match and teasing each other like they had been doing for the past fifteen years.

“By the way, I’m not cleaning up the mess you made with that soliloquy of yours”, Imran said, and their laughter echoed.

Two friends, two religions and one great love.

They knew they would sail through it.

Unanswered

Why’d you let me go? Why didn’t you hold on?
Or was it me? Was it me who messed it up?
Was it me who wasn’t strong enough?
Maybe yes... or maybe not.

It could have been red roses,
Pink hearts and champagne,
But we chose the path of thorns instead.
We could have slept in peace,
But we stayed up all night.
We could have had a hearty laugh,
But we cried… broken and tired.
We could have stayed away,
But we chose to come close instead.

You should have…
You should have pulled me back,
Should have looked me in the eye,
Taken my hand and kissed me
With a promise.
You should have said the words
I’d been dying to hear,
You should have made me believe,
In you, in us.
But you let me go,
And I let it all slip away...
True that I turned weak,
But did you stay by?
Did you hear the pain in my voice?
Did you turn back, just once?
I was waiting…right there.
A little push, a little bit of faith
Was all I needed.


Did the rose wilt to bits?
Did our love grow that weak?
Did the fondness melt away?
Did you want me no more?
‘Cause I did my waiting,
I pierced my heart, again and again,
For you, just for you.
But I couldn’t see the light,
And darkness was all we’d left in between.

You’re gone now, leaving me behind,
For bad or worse, I know not,
And left alone, I’m nothing but lost…without you.
But your voice still lingers,
The memories still hover.
Somewhere inside the pages of my books,
Somewhere at the end of my soggy pillow,
Somewhere in my unreasoned smile,
Somewhere in every soft cry.

Can we break the circle?
Can we undo the past?
Can we please start afresh?
Get back to not knowing each other
And discover everything all over again?
Can we give Us a chance?
Even if just once,
Even if for one last time?
Can we? Please?